The New Normal: Opening Day.

       Today is opening day!  *looks at calendar* Holy shit! It's July 24th.  Like most things these days, things are a little different.  They are going to start playing baseball today amidst this pandemic and they are going to do it with slightly different rules and a very different atmosphere.  Since we can't go out the the old ballgame today (but we can watch on TV) let's breakdown what you might see and what you definitely won't see. 

Famous people throwing out the first pitch:

Yes!  Last night during the Nationals opener, Dr. Anthony Fauci threw out the first pitch, and while it wasn't exactly a strike, I like to think he has more important things to be focusing on right now.  With any luck, the people in charge might even start listening.

Topps needs to bring these back, I always liked these cards.

 





 





 

Mascots: Nope.

The stadiums will be empty and the large costumed buffoonery will have to be on hold for a while.  If you want to dress up in the privacy of your own home, I am certainly not going to judge. UPDATE: I may have been misinformed about this one...

Cardboard cut-out fans:

Yes!  Real fans will not be in the ballpark but most teams (including my Mets) have put up cardboard cutout fans behind home plate and around the stadium.  On TV, it looks like an old computer game with the graphics turned to simple - I can only imagine what it looks like to the players.  They also pipe in crowd noise, which is strange to say the least.  Whoever has been on the button for the cheers and boos needs to be a little faster on the draw, at least from what I saw on SNY last weekend.  Maybe they'll have the bugs worked out by tonight.

Exuberant celebrations: No way.

The players are under orders to socially distance as much as possible.  This means they sit wide in the dugout and the reserves have been sitting in the stands.  Also, no spitting, no high fives, and definitely no walk-off dog pile insanity.  I went to a baseball game and a golf match broke out!

Overpriced delicious fatty foods:

Only if you make them at home.  I am ordering the old ballpark staple Chinese food this afternoon to watch the Mets.  Like I said, this is a very different world we live in.  "Buy me some peanuts and crab rangoon!"

Players going all out to win:

Absolutely.  This 60 game season is, antithetical to baseball history for 150+ years, a sprint and not a marathon.  Also, 16 teams will make the playoffs with some very short opening round series.  I like to think the players are rested and the ones who have chosen to play are coming to win.  This season is going to count, these games are for real; the world is all asunder but better late than never, it's time to Play Ball!

The All Star Orphans.

       Tonight would have been the 91st All Star Game, to have been played in Dodgers Stadium.  Not only does this one not count, it isn't being played at all because we currently live in the worst of all possible scenarios where nothing good will ever happen again.  Rather than wallowing in our pain, let's instead look at some old school Topps cards. 

       Some of the best design quirks in Topps sets are in the All Star cards.  For most years from 1958 until 1992, they gave some sort of shout out to the best players in the league - though not always to the all star starters or even all stars at all (but we'll get to that).  For the most part, they did either subsets or on-card graphics to the previous year's all stars and I decided to create some pages to illustrate those designs.  And instead of picking the best player in the set or even the best photo, I decided to pick the absolute worst player.  I mean, they can't be that terrible, they did get an all star card after all, but not every collection needs to be the best of the best of the best, it adds a little variety to the pages.  While I was accumulating these cards, I dubbed the list "The All Star Orphans" and the name stuck; my thinking was most of these players were only all stars once or only got the one all star card in their career. 

       So that was my basis for these choices, they had to be either one time all stars or if that didn't apply, just the worst player among the usual superstars who make the All Star squad.  It worked out nicely that there were 27 different designs for my nine-card criteria. There were multi-player All Star cards in 1993-1995 and the last dozen years or so, the Update Series has had all the All Star selections (and certainly could have given me some truly oddball choices) but I have to draw the line somewhere and it made sense to go 1958 (the first year of all star cards) and 1992 (the last year of a run of a separate all star subset that started in 1982).  Let's break them all down:

1992: Bryan Harvey (2x All Star) Led the league in saves in 1991, ended up on the expansion Marlins and kind of faded away.  He has kids in the Orioles and Pirates organizations.

1991: Bobby Thigpen (1x All Star) His one big claim to fame was saving a record 57 games that year - which was 11 more than the record - though the record is now 62 by K-Rod in 2008.  He never saved more than 34 in any other season.

1990: Joe Magrane (never made an All Star team) Here we have our first non-All Star all star card.  He did go 18-9 in 1989 and led the league in 1988 with a 2.18 ERA (with a 5-9 record!) but after 1990 his arm fell off and he was never effective again.  Why did Topps go with Joe here? Who the hell knows. 

1989: Kirk Gibson (never made an All Star team) Ah, 1988 Kirk Gibson, how I hate you.  The designation on the card is PH and this is obviously a nod to his famous game one homer in the World Series.  He is the only league MVP to never make an all star team (and he played 17 seasons).  Why not just make a card for his series heroics?  God, I hate this card almost as much as I hate Gibson.

1988: Shane Rawley (1x All Star...in 1986) Rawley made the All Star team the year before.  This card is for I guess the brilliant 2/3 of a season he had in 1987.  He won 17 games by August and finished the year with...17 wins.  He was out of the league by 1989.

1987: Tony Bernazard (never made an All Star team)  The only explanation I can come up with for why they gave Tony this card is because they were tired of making a card for Damaso Garcia.  Why not Lou Whitaker, who actually was the all star second baseman in 1986?  Plus, the less said about Tony's front office career, the better.

1986: Tom Herr (1x All Star) This page has two of my most hated players. I don't know why, but my brother and I took all of our anger at the mid-80s Cardinals out on Tom Herr.  Not Vince Coleman, not Willie McGee, not even Jack Clark...we hated Tommy Herr.  It also figures he eventually found his way to the early 90s Mets, where we could hate him every night.  He also drove in 100 runs while hitting less than 10 homers in 1985, which is pretty neat regardless of my opinion of him.

1985: Jeff Leonard (1x All Star...in 1987) He has one of the great nicknames of all time: Old Penitentiary Face.  He has two other cool nicknames as well, One Flap Down and Hac-Man (or Hack-Man).  He had a pretty decent 1984 season (21/86/.302) but I am at a loss as to why his happy mug is on this card.

1984: LaMarr Hoyt (2x All Star) Hoyt won the 1983 Cy Young award and was also an all star in 1982.  He also loved cocaine and ended up out of the league by 1986.  I am shocked he never played for the Yankees during this time.

Best design on the page: 1988 (might be my favorite subset design of all) runner up: 1987 (the league logos and red, white, and blue stars pop)

Worst design on the page: 1985 (they just threw a star where the team logo is on the base card, the tan color is also a loser) runner up 1986 (zzzzzzzzz I'm sorry, I fell asleep looking at this)

1983: Pete Vuckovich (never made an All Star team) Pete did win the Cy Young award in 1982 and led the league in wins in 1981, so it is not egregious that he's here.  Alas, his shoulder turned to mush and he was out of the league by 1986.  Also, he later led the league in nose hair and won the triple crown.

1982: Ken Singleton (3x All Star) Ken might be the best player of all on any these pages.  He was a good steady bat for a decade for the Orioles.  But the first subset in the expanded 1980s Topps sets was just loaded so he "won" the honor of being here.

1981: Jim Bibby (1x All Star) Jim is exactly the kind of player I wanted for these pages.  He had a pretty decent career and he made exactly one All Star game. Of course, he didn't start the 1980 All Star game, J.R. Richard did. Why didn't Richard get the designation instead? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

1980: Roy Smalley (1x All Star) He was a second generation player who made his first and only all star game in 1979.  He had a pretty unspectacular career and 1979 was maybe his 3rd or 4th best year but he started the All Star game mostly because of the "one player from every team" rule.  His dad never made an all star team.

1979: Richie Zisk (2x All Star) Zisk is a forgotten player but he had a pretty good run in the 1970s.  He got his all star card in 1979 for 1978 though his 1977 year was better.  If he had his big years for the Dodgers or the Red Sox, rather than the Rangers and the Mariners, he'd be much better remembered.

1978: Rick Burleson (4x All Star)  The 1978 All Star cards were just loaded with hall of famers and superstars, so I had to go with our first time four timer.  Rooster was known as a bit of a red ass in his day and he hurt his arm and was done as a useful player after 1981. 

1977: Randy Jones (2x All Star) Jones got lost in Fidrych-mania in 1976 and even though he had a great year and won the Cy Young, but no one remembers that at all.  Much like Fidrych, he was never very good after his big year in 1976 either.  Since Jones and Fidrych both made two All Star teams, I went with Jones because he deserves some recognition somewhere.

1976: Joe Rudi (3x All Star) Rudi was a cog in the A's green machine in the 1970s but he was also one of the players Charlie Finley tried to sell off in 1976, deals the commissioner all killed.  So he gets to be mentioned with players like Rollie Fingers and Vida Blue in that respect.

1975: Jeff Burroughs (2x All Star) Jeff famously won the 1974 AL MVP because the A's had three players who all split the vote, including the aforementioned Joe Rudi. He's not the worst player to win an MVP award but he's easily one of the most forgettable.

Best design on the page: 1976 (I love the chubby star designation, '76 had the best icons) runner up: 1978 (that badge is great and reminds me of the US Interstate signs)

Worst design on the page: 1981 (just for the very boring little drop down) runner up: 1980 (same reason)

1974: Rick Wise (2x All Star) The only multi-player subset in the vintage era, Wise finds himself among a bunch of iconic players - including Catfish Hunter on his own card. He also made the huge mistake of being traded straight up for Steve Carlton.  Not very wise at all.

1970: Rico Petrocelli (2x All Star) Topps took three years off for All Star cards, which is a shame since they all could have used them, 1971 and 1972 because they were so good looking, 1973 because the set is so boring. If Rico had the years he had in 1969-1971 in the 1990s, people would have said he was on steroids.

1969: Ken Harrelson (1x All Star)  Known more for a bunch of things other than his playing days (announcer, golfer, protruding proboscis) The Hawk had his career year in 1968 during the Year of the Pitcher and made the All Star team.  He was then out of the league by 1971 and eventually tortured White Sox fans with his homerism and annoying calls for decades. 

1968: Joe Horlen (1x All Star) Joe is another great example of All Star Orphan-ness.  He led the league in ERA and shutouts in 1967 but was fiercely mediocre most of the other dozen years of his career.  Dean Chance started the game and Catfish Hunter lost it, but somehow, Joe Horlen got the card in the set. Topps made no All Star cards from 1963-1967.

1962: Chuck Schilling (never made an All Star team) Here in the early days of all star cards, Topps went with the Sporting News or Sport Magazine selections, which is why Chuck got on the card even though he never did make an All Star team on the field.  Chuck finished 3rd in the ROY voting and yet was out of the league in 5 years.

1961: Frank Herrera (never made an All Star team) Pancho is probably my favorite Orphan.  He qualifies for One Year Wonder status as he won the IL MVP in 1959, had a pretty decent 1960 year (finishing second for ROY even), and then was back to the minors for good by 1962.  Heck, he never had a regular 'base' Topps card, he had two rookie card designs (1959 and 1960) and this high numbered all star beauty. Alas, Topps also went all Bob Clemente on him by anglicizing his name.

1960: Joe Cunningham (1x All Star) Joe finds himself in a high number series among a lot of hall of famers, but he had his career year in 1959 and wandered onto the All Star roster.  Willie Mays! Hank Aaron! Joe Cunningham!

1959: Wes Covington (never made an All Star team) I am kind of at a loss to say something about Wes, he was that average a ballplayer. He had good 90 game runs in 1957 and 1958 but never got more than 400 PA in any season.  He helped the Braves win the Series in '57 but then bounced around the league afterward.  Hey, he was once traded for Don Larson...just like dozens of other players.  Wow, he really is bland.  Um, his 1961 Topps card is pretty sweet, so he's got that going for him, which is nice.

1958: Frank Malzone (6x All Star) Topps first foray into All Star cards finds us with the player here with the most selections.  But so stacked was this subset, I had to go with Malzone over Johnny Temple simply because, well, I owned the Malzone and not the Temple.  This subset famously includes the first Topps Stan Musial card and Bob Costas' favorite Mickey Mantle card.  I should probably get the Temple card to better fit in with the spirit of the project, but hey, these are my pages.

Best design on the page: 1961 (it was so good, they basically copied it in 1970) runner up: 1960 (very of its time)

Worst design on the page: 1974 (it fits the set, but man is it boring) runner up: 1968 (half the card is the year and an advertisement for The Sporting News)

Never made an All Star team: 7
1x All Star: 9
2x All Star: 7
3+ All Star: 4

       I hope this little rundown will help fill the void of no baseball tonight.  I know the league is suppose to start up again on the 23rd, but I will believe it when I see it.  So much stuff is going on so rapidly and so many players seem to not be into putting their lives literally on the line, I wouldn't want anyone to become a real orphan just so we can watch sports. 

Pollard Throws No-Hitter May 11, 1978.

    There are a few of you raising your eyebrows right now trying to remember a major league pitcher named Pollard who threw a no-no 42 years ago today.  Well, that's not quite the headline I am angling toward here.  The Pollard in question here is Robert, the ultimate lo-fi pioneer, lead singer of Guided By Voices (along with a couple dozen other off-shoots), Uncle Bob to a bunch of us music nerds. One of the things that made me want to start blogging again is that Goodwin Champions included him in their set last year and I went a little crazy...

I have a 1/1 printing plate waiting for me in COMC to join these colorful wonders.

Okay, how do I explain Robert Pollard and GBV in baseball terms?  Well, if the Beatles are Mickey Mantle (or Willie Mays?) and Nirvana is Bo Jackson (or Sandy Koufax?), then Bob would be Rocky Colavito (or Eddie Yost?) - the under the radar, out of the ordinary but similarly brilliant superstar for which there is a small but intensely devoted following.  Maybe Tim Raines would also work here or perhaps Tony Mullane (or even Ichiro?).  You get the idea.  His music is classic rock but somewhat alien.  It is timeless yet also fixed permanently in the British Invasion vibe and the DIY punk ethic of the early 80s.  Bob once defined his vision for the band as if the Beatles never stopped making music and what it would sound like.  He knocks out dense melodic songs by the score and most of them are under 2 minutes (though they have gotten a little longer as he's gotten older).  He puts out 2-3 albums a year with GbV and half a dozen EPs and side efforts and it is dizzying to keep up with but ultimately very rewarding.  The fans are also insanely devoted and encyclopedic in their knowledge.   Baseball fans and music fans are a mostly round Venn diagram that way when you think about it.  To me, these cards are the wonderful overlap of those two classic obsessions of mine. 

Last year I bought a huge lot of the base card, made a page, and then sent the rest to the fans.

Bob Pollard is a fascinating dude with an outrageous story.  He was a regular guy who went to college, played baseball and basketball, became a teacher, and seemed like your normal law-abiding citizen from Dayton OH.  But he always loved music and one day in the early 80s he just decided he was going to be in a band and make rock music and he didn't care what anyone thought of him. So he and his buddies started recording songs in his garage on a boombox and they just kept doing it.  They would play local shows and they became this eclectic local oddity but when people listened to the songs, they realized this guy was actually pretty good.  They were the underest of underground the indiest of indie. But word spread and legends grew and by the mid-90s when this dude was going to college, he discovered their music through a friend who saw I loved the Beatles and thought I should give them a listen.  I have been a fanatic ever since.  And even with a retirement 15 years ago (like most premature sports retirements, it didn't stick), they have come back and are still going very strong. I was looking forward to seeing them  for the seventh time this year, but, well, you know. GbV usually does epic 3 hour shows with a 40+ song set list (they do 100 songs on New Years) but mind you, Bob also comes out with a cooler of beer and drinks and sings until he can't the lyrics so it's usually a glorious train wreck.

My favorite legend of the man, though, is the no-hitter he threw in college - 42 years ago today.  It is just a strange wrench thrown in the machine of a quirky rock and roll story.  If you go to one of their shows, you will see plenty of t-shirts that commemorate this perfectly non-historic but wonderfully odd phenomenon. 

Did Bono or Sting ever throw a no hitter (or the UK equivalent?) I doubt it. Jon Bon Jovi never scored four touchdowns in a game and I am certain Bob Dylan never scored 100 points in a basketball game.  But my ultimate rock hero once pitched a no-hitter in college.

So here are not the five "best" songs but the most indicative.  If you like any or all of these, you have a fighting chance to join the club and be a Guided By Voices covert.  One of these songs is even responsible for my eBay screen name.  Give them a shot, go on, I'll wait. Or don't, I'm not a cop.

If any of you took the time to listen, let me know what you think. And even if you didn't, I know the crazed nature we all collect cards with and for me it definitely is similar with music and I figure if anyone can understand the excitement when two of those worlds collide, it's you guys. Seeing trading cards of the front man of your favorite band (when 98% of folks have never even heard of your your favorite band) was the absolute highlight of my 2019 collecting. Plus the man is a sports legend, he threw a no-hitter!

We All Could Use A Reason To Smile.

      In a small adjoiner to my rambling post the other day about Julio Franco and his ancient record-setting home run, today is the four year anniversary of another old man home run mark set by one of the great elderly pitchers of recent time, Bartolo Colon.

Big Sexy put all his weight into this swing and became the oldest player to ever hit his first home run.  It is also one of the most joyous and unbelievable things I have ever seen. It's like watching Santa Claus win the lottery and give all the money away to orphans. If you have never seen it - or listened to Gary Cohen's amazing call - please do so now...

Wherever Bart may be right now, I hope he is laughing and enjoying a nice meal knowing he put a smile on my face today remembering that day.

Drunk Post: Who Wants It?

      As promised in my last post, I have been drinking. A lot. So it's time for a drunk post!!!  And I am going to ask a question I haven't asked in a while...who wants it? 

No, not my tacos, they are already in my belly...

...and they we're fucking delicious.  No. I am giving away some really great cards here.  Like, how about a 1952 Mickey Mantle!

Okay, not really.  This is actually a hilarious card.  This is a bootleg copy of the 1983 Topps reprint of the 1952 Topps set.  I bought two of these thinking they were the actual 1983 versions, which were 100% issued by Topps and were pretty much the first faux-vintage they ever made.  But on first glance of the back, I knew things were a tad wonky.  The front looks pretty good but the back looks like it was done on a Canon copier in 1983.  It is even clipped on the bottom by the bit that reads "1952 Reprint Series" One of these is in my Mantle pages as a great example of a copy of a copy of a copy (think the Michael Keaton movie Multiplicity).  But if you appreciate such horrors of ineptitude, all you have to do is say you want it.  I don't run contests or ask you to follow me or wax my car or anything. But you might want to wait a moment because I am also giving away...

A 1979-80 Topps Wayne Gretzky rookie card!

You miss 100% of the shots you don't make and this card missed 100%

In the toploader in low light after your third or fourth margarita, this card actually looks kinda good.  The colors of the front are on target and then you turn it over and quickly notice that the texture of the back is all wrong because this was printed on the photographic paperboard they used to include with digital cameras back in 1998.  Unauthorized reprint is a really nifty term for counterfeit but this card has all the presentation of a $100 bill with Benny Hill on it instead of Ben Franklin.  But it is still worth owning if you aren't going to try and fool your blind neighbor into buying it along with your dead parrot.  It can be yours for the asking price of nothing because it is worth less than nothing - but is still a cool copy of one of the cornerstone cards of any hockey collection.  So who wants it?  Just drop a comment or an email or a smoke signal and which card you want (you can only have one) and I will send you a fantastic (copy of a copy of a copy of a) 1952 Topps Mickey Mantle or a (painfully fake) 1979-80 Topps Wayne Gretzky rookie.  Like any good bar, first come, first served.  Now, who dares me to eat the worm!?!?