I Like(d) Ike.

       Ike Davis could have had it all.  Ike Davis should have had it all.  The son of a major leaguer, he was drafted in the first round by a team in New York and was fast tracked to the big leagues from moment one.  He looked good as a 23 year old rookie in 2010 and wonderful things lay ahead.  Instead, it all went horribly horribly wrong...

His sophomore year was over before it really began after he had a freak injury to his ankle during a collision with David Wright on a pop up.  The wonderful Mets medical team misdiagnosed him at least twice and he never got back on the field.  But he eventually healed and we were all looking forward to his 2012 season.  I insanely predicted big things for him.  He got off to a dreadful start, if by dreadful I mean nightmarish, and if by nightmarish I mean absolutely god-fucking-awful.  In the middle of June he was hitting a buck eighty with 6 homers.  The hitch in his swing that was supposed to be smoothed out by now was bigger than ever.  Then a funny thing happened...he got hotter than the sun.  The rest of June was a supernova and he bashed homer after homer.  He got his average up to .227 and finished with 32 dingers and 90 RBIs.  Now the question remained, which Ike was the real Ike?   Was it First Half Ike or Second Half Ike?

Sadly, we got our answer almost immediately in 2013.  Ike came out hitting a whopping .160 for the first two months and was demoted to the minors by the all star break.  All of our Mets fan dreaming of a homegrown power hitting Paul Bunyan first baseman were being dashed before our eyes.  The Mets even drafted the Next Big Thing at first in Dominic Smith in the first round. The dream was over for Ike Davis as a Met.

By spring training of 2014, the Mets had announced that he was going to be part of an unfathomable and untenable three way platoon at first with the immortal Lucas Duda and the incredibly terrible Josh Satin.  He was sadly third in a two man race.  He got into 12 games and got 30 at bats but it was obvious to anyone who has ever seen one game of baseball in their lives that Ike was on the outs with the Mets.  He did whack one last pinch hit walk off grand slam on April 5th to emphasize those saddest words of tongue and pen.  He was unceremoniously dumped on the Pittsburgh Pirates on April 18th for a middling middle reliever and the ol' player to be named. 

I collected all these Ike cards out of hope, not for profit.  I bought and traded specifically to get most of these cards and hoarded the ones I pulled.  I really had such high hopes for Ike.  I want him to do well with the Pirates, I really do.  But he is yet another in a long line of disappointments for the Mets in terms of developing power hitting prospects.  He's that girlfriend you wanted to move in with and make babies with but instead she flakes out and you just have a little pile of her shit in the corner of your apartment in a shopping bag, waiting for a day to get around to giving it back to her so you never have to see her again.

Ralph Kiner: 1922-2014.

       I have been listening to Ralph announce Mets games for the last 30 years, which is only a little more than half of the time he actually did them.  In fact, even last year, they would still have him come on the air a few times a year and do a few innings and he was still very sharp and told wonderful stories (even if illness had taken his great delivery and voice).  He really is one of the very last connections to the original 1962 team.  I am not sure he is a Hall of Famer as a player - though he made it - but for longevity, quality, and entertainment value, he is a first ballot member for broadcasting.

Ralph Kiner Quotes:

"All of his saves have come in relief appearances"

"All of the Mets road wins against the Dodgers this year occurred at Dodger Stadium."

"Darryl Strawberry has been voted to the Hall of Fame five years in a row."

"Hello, everybody. Welcome to Kiner's Corner. This is....uh. I'm...uh..."

"Home run hitters drive Cadillacs and singles hitters drive Fords."

"If Casey Stengel were alive today, he'd be spinning in his grave."

"I think one of the most difficult things for anyone who's played baseball is to accept the fact that maybe the players today are playing just as well as ever."

(This is the most important quote on this list.  One of the great things about Kiner was he was not one of those "back-in-my-day" kind of announcers, he always gave props to the modern player and understood modern statistics.)

"Jose DeLeon on his career has seventy-three wins and one-hundred and five RBIs."

"Kevin McReynolds stops at third and he scores."

"Now up to bat for the Mets is Gary Cooper."

"On Fathers' Day, we again wish you all happy birthday."

"Solo homers usually come with no one on base."

"(Don) Sutton lost thirteen games in a row without winning a ballgame."

"The Hall of Fame ceremonies are on the thirty-first and thirty-second of July."

"The Mets have gotten their leadoff batter on only once this inning."

"The reason the Mets have played so well at Shea this year is they have the best home record in baseball."

"There's a lot of heredity in that family."

"Tony Gwynn was named player of the year for April."

"Two-thirds of the earth is covered by water. The other third is covered by Garry Maddox."

***

I am very sad today, it's like your favorite uncle died. Somewhere in heaven, I hope Ralph is interviewing St. Peter and calling him St. Paul.

They Arrrrrr Goin' For It, Matey.

       I do not like the sports teams of Pittsburgh.  The Steelers seem to think they are the best team ever, when before 1970 they were, quite literally, the worst team ever.  Six championships in 40-odd years is impressive, but forgetting the 40-odd years before that seems selective at best and delusional at worst.  The only thing I like about the Pittsburgh Penguins is their cute little logo.  Every other single thing can die in a fire.  And that brings us to the Pittsburgh Pirates.  The Pirates replaced the Cardinals in the early 90's as my most hated team.  Sure, the Cardinals certainly had more hateable players, but the Pirates were far more infuriating - quality over quantity, I suppose.  It was a joy and a comfort to me that they have been invisible for the last 20 years.  Now, suddenly, they are back.  After a couple of near misses the last couple years, they are loaded up and ready to make a run to and through the playoffs.

Currently, they are led by NL MVP candidate Andrew McCutchen:

He is a fine enjoyable player to watch, except for the uniform.  I look forward to 2018 when they trade him because he wants too much money (of course, it will probably be to the Yankees...yuck).

The embodiment of my hatred for the Pirates can be stated quite simply:

Most people hate Barry Bonds now.  Like some kind of music loving hipster, I was a Bonds hater way before it was cool; my dislike for him started his rookie season (1986) and never waned. 

I have to admit, I didn't always hate every single Pirates player.  Willie Stargell was pretty awesome.

He won the MVP in 1979 as a fat 38 year old.  That is a feat I can get behind.

If you have read my required posts, you know that I am also a huge fan of Roberto Clemente:

I covered this a while back.

The most striking reason I hate the Pirates, other than the fact that they stole 2 or 3 division titles from the Mets, is they gave the world - and more specifically the Mets - Bobby Bonilla.

This is the only Bonilla card I have highlighted anywhere in my pages and that is only because I love the look of that insert set.  The worst part of the saga of Bobby Bo?  Because of the Mets stupidity - or Bonilla's incredible business acumen *eye roll* - he will be getting over a million dollars a year from the team until 2035.  Yes, I am probably just jealous I am not clearing all that cash for doing nothing myself, it's just that the Mets make me sad sometimes.

So why spew all this hate for the Pirates?  I mean, they are gonna make the playoff after two solid decades of utter futility after all.  Well, I am not wishing them well nor am I rooting for them, but...

Today, September 19th is International Talk Like a Pirate Day.  And while I think I have certainly made my point that I hate baseball Pirates, I love plank walking, keelhauling, sword fighting, ship ramming pirates.  So raise the mizzenmast and a cup of grog and tell your mateys you be lovin' them today...and root for the Red Sox in the playoffs.