Friday, August 31, 2012

You Left Me Standing Alone.

       I do not own a page of Blue Moon Odom cards.  If fact, I looked in a few places and I am not sure if I own any Blue Moon Odom cards.  Which is a shame, because I like the name Blue Moon Odom and it would be topical, tonight being a blue moon and all.  I also have been drinking.  DRUNK POST!!! WOOHOO!!!!   Like I said, I couldn't find any Blue Moon Odom cards, but if I had been looking for Sam Octoberfest, American Pickers reruns, and homemade chili...mission accomplished!

       One page I did find, however, is very amusing to drunk Max:

At the end of most of my player books, you will find a few 4 and 8 card pages with the odd sized oddball cards.  This one is especially beyond the normal amount of odd oddball though.  Before I get into it, let's look at the back too:

We're gonna have to break these down one at a time, starting in the upper left.

1) That is a sticker that came with the Mr. T In Your Pocket gag gift that I bought my ex-girlfriend about 8 or 9 years ago.  It was one of those little soundboard thingies that spouts catchphrases when you hit one of the buttons.  My ex, being easily amused (she dated me for 4 years, after all) used to call me and just press one of the buttons over and over again.  Along with the obligatory "I pity the fool!" it also said things like "First name Mister, middle name period, last name T!"  and my personal favorite "Quit your jibber-jabber!"  I hadn't thought of it in a very long time, but seeing that sticker made me miss answering the phone and hearing "Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-Quit your jibber-jabber!!!"  She would hit the button rhythmically for emphasis.  I have no idea why it is in here but it did kindle nice memories.  OK, moving on...

2) A 1984 Carl Yastrzemski Donruss Champions card.  I think that is just runoff from the legitimate cards in the book.  Poor Yaz, always stuck near the end of the list.  Pity us poor 'M' people; sometimes folks will throw the people at the end of the alphabet a bone and start at Z and work backwards.  Either way, us M's are right in the damn middle.  Did I mention I can spell Yastrzemski without looking?  Even drunk?  Now that is a bar bet I should go clean up with....

3) Billy Joel "The Stranger" press pass.  They gave these out at the Last Play at Shea concert, which I was lucky to attend because my buddy's girlfriend had to work:

buddy: "Hey! You got 275 buck to waste?"
me: "Sure!"
buddy: "OK, you're going with me to the Billy Joel concert tonight" 
(I may have been drunk then too...)

Anyway, I am not a huge Billy Joel guy.  I like him fine, don't get me wrong, but I like my music a little more hardcore and rock and roll and non-mainstream and whatnot (hipster! snob! *flips bird*).  But growing up in the 80's with a more mellow music liking brother, I am overly familiar with Mr. Joel's canon (and I am sure he would appreciate me blogging about him while I was drunk).  I went to the show, which was bathed in historic rhetoric - last rock show at Shea Stadium, blahblahblah.  Considering we had awesome seats and like half a dozen other famous classic rockers showed up (Roger Daltrey, Steven Tyler, Paul McCartney, etc.) it was about 100x cooler than I imagined it would be.  So, they gave us this thing, which I am not sure we got because we had good seats, or if everyone got them, or like the first 10,000 got it or what.  But I remember being offered $50 for mine after the show.  And I also recall them going for similar money on ebay afterwards. But I am a sentimental fool - and because I had such an unexpectedly good time - I kept the thing for prosperity.  Somehow, it wound up here.

4) Mickey Mantle: His Final Inning.  At first glance, one would think this is a card, but it isn't.  It is one of those bible tracts people hand out on the street by subway stops and whatnot.  I am 99% sure I got this in Boston in the late 90's or early aughts.  Full disclosure: I used to collect these things.  As a lapsed Catholic and confirmed atheist, I found the real fire and brimstone tracts funnier than most prime time sitcoms.  They usually had names like "Heaven or Hell - Which Will You Choose?" or "Do You Want to Burn for All Eternity?" with corresponding graphics and over the top preaching backing up those notions.  Hilarious.  Alas, that collection was only a passing fad and I am pretty certain I chucked the whole pile in the trash after moving them one too many times.  I should have put them in top loaders or pages like this to preserve them.  Anyway, this one is a little less old time religion and more self help.  It covers the Mick's drinking and how he recovered and redeemed himself before he died.  It is actually kind of rational about the whole thing.  Definitely a switch from most of the little pamphlets I was handed by the Park Street Station.  I can only assume I kept this thing due to its baseball subject matter.  (I just checked ebay - I could get a whole dollar for one of these.  Plus my memory for dates isn't always flawed: it says there they are from 1998).

So, all that from a few beers and a lack of Blue Moon Odom cards...Wow.  Admit it, you missed me.

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