Monday, October 1, 2012

The Littlest Tribute: Larry Wayne Jones.

        I am not afraid to use the word hate.  Seems people shy away from using it, but you can't have white without black, up without down, right without wrong.  I can see not wanting children to use the word, since they are not in full control or understanding of their emotions but as a (sort of) grown up, I can and will use it.  I hate Chipper Jones.
This may be the only Chipper I own. Anybody want it?
I am not here to praise Larry but to bury him.  Earlier this year, it was announced that this would be his last year.  Teams have given him going away gifts and last week, the Braves gave him a night - fittingly against his favorite whipping boys, my Mets.  I didn't always hate Chipper; I started off completely nonplussed about him, I mean, he was not even on my radar.  The only thing I knew of him was his ridiculous name.  But sometime in the mid to late 90's, he started to homer in seemingly every game he played against the Mets.  His Braves began winning every single NL East title and summarily ousting the Mets from the playoffs.  Every Mets fan worth his salt started call him Larry and hating his guts...and pretty much the rest of him too.  For the last 15 years, he has destroyed everything I hold dear while putting up numbers that will assuredly put him in the Hall of Fame.  And for that, I hate him.  I purged all of the Chipper cards I have, selling them on eBay and sending them off to any Braves fan that will take them.  I will not even give him the satisfaction of a full sized card or font for this post.  You have to feel very strongly about someone to hate them as much as I hate Larry Wayne Jones.  But, goddamn it, do I respect you.  And that is the last semi-nice thing I will ever say about the matter.  That and it will be nice to never have to face you again with the game on the line.  Of course, with the Mets luck, your son Shea will develop into a superstar and prevent the Mets from winning the World Series from 2030-2040 or so.  Did I mention how much I hate you, Chipper?

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